4 Things I Want My Daughter to See Me Doing

We’ve heard it before, our kids copy everything we do. The good and the bad. Now that my daughter is almost 17 months old, I notice it more than ever. Lately, she’s been putting her little index finger on her chin whenever she says, “um.” She uses the same finger to tell the dogs, “no, no, no,” when she doesn’t like something they do and she yells “,oh wow” in excitement whenever she sees something new. It’s the cutest! Whenever she does these things or something for the first time, my husband and I always ask each other, “who in the family does that?” It’s fun to try to figure it out. However, she will eventually imitate the not so great things we do as well if we’re not careful. Because of that, it’s got me thinking more and more about the things I want her to mimic in me. Rhythms and habits I can model for her so that someday, she will do the same. 

1. Pursue God: 

   • This one’s a biggie! I know my husband and I are where she will get the foundation of her faith from. If she barely sees us read our Bibles, go to church, pray etc. she is not going to see what a strong walk with God could look like. I know I won’t do this perfectly, but I want her to see me chase after God so that someday she’ll fall in love with Him too. I could choose to wait to do my quiet time when she’s napping or before she wakes up in the morning, which I still will sometimes. However, I want her to be more intentional about spending time with Him while she can see me. I want her to see me open my Bible consistently. I want her to see me be quick to pray about things, especially in the moment. I want her to see me worship God freely with my whole heart and not care who sees me. Man, I’ve got some work to do! However, by putting this out there, you too can hold me accountable.

2. Be Present:

   • This is probably the one I struggle with the most because in the past I have always been glued to my phone. I am slowly learning to set boundaries with it however. Like putting it away for a few hours a day (especially when my daughter is awake) or turning off my notifications by 8:30 PM. I’m not always good at this. There are still times where I’ll scroll when I should be asleep or doing something more productive. Or sometimes it’s not that I’m on my phone, but maybe doing dishes that can wait when my daughter wants me to play with her. I randomly saw this quote a few weeks back that really opened my eyes. It said, “The laundry pile will always be there but this moment, these people won’t be.” It’s true. My daughter won’t always be this little and these years are so fleeting. I know she won’t always seek for me to play with her because she’ll have other priorities someday. I don’t want to look back and regret that I didn’t give her my full attention. I want to show her to be fully present and all there with those that love her most. 

3. Love others well:

   • This is something I have always prided myself on: Putting others first. I will go out of my way to do something for someone I care for. However, this is also a big flaw of mine. As a people pleaser I’ve gone to lengths that have cost me some of my friendships or have messed with my mental health. I have come a long way when it’s come to setting boundaries so that I can love my people well. However, this is something I’m still learning of course. I want my daughter to see what healthy friendships look like. I want her to know that she can say no even when it’s hard. I want her to see me treat her dad like a king and show her what a Godly marriage can look like. Although I won’t ever model any of these things perfectly, I am taking steps everyday to better love my people.

4. Take care of myself:

   • This, along with being present is probably the hardest one for me. I struggle with making sure I eat healthy meals, with exercising consistently and not talking negatively about myself. There is more to the story about my relationship with food that I’ll write about in a future post. However, I’m nowhere near where I was before. Thanks to Jesus, my husband, my family and my therapist who have come alongside me to fight some of these battles. What I do know is that I can’t give from an empty cup. I have to do the things to fill myself up so my daughter can have the best parts of me. I want to model what true rest looks like. Something we can only find in God and sometimes a nap when needed.

Now it’s your turn. What are some things you want your kids to see you doing?