He Knows Your Heart
When I was in the 3rd grade, I became a biter. I don’t know what in the world possessed me to bite other kids, but 8-year-old Janelly must have thought it was the only way to deal with her emotions. For some reason I was prone to bite during recess. Maybe it’s because there were less teachers around to notice, or so I thought, because I always got caught. Whoever I bit would let out a piercing scream or tell on me which led to something called the conduct book. My 3rd grade teacher, Mrs. Dorothy had this white binder she kept by her desk. Whenever one of us would misbehave, our name was written in the conduct book. Let me tell you, my name was all up in there. I don’t remember exactly what the consequences were, but I do remember that if you were a repeated offender, your parents would be called and who knows what other punishment would follow.
I thank God that I’m no longer a biter. I’ve been clean for 24 years now. I’m also thankful that God doesn’t keep track of our wrongs in a conduct book. Once we’ve repented, our sins are forgiven and that is that. However, growing up, I thought I would have to ask God to forgive me for something over and over again, even if it was something I only did once. I remember one day in college I was walking into the dining hall with my roommate at the time telling her all about something I felt guilty over. I wish I could remember what it was, but what I do recall was how I felt. I kept beating myself up over something I had already asked God to forgive me for multiple times. Although God had forgiven me, I couldn’t forgive myself.
That’s when she said it, the four words that have changed my relationship with God ever since, “He knows your heart.” I think all along I had believed that I had to convince God that I had really repented. As if he didn’t believe I was being genuine or something. While I would beat myself up, God was just ready for us to move on. All along He had been whispering, “let it go, be free. I’ve already forgotten all about it.”
Can you relate to this at all? Maybe you’ve been holding onto guilt over something you already brought to the feet of the father. I want to say the same words over you that my roommate and God said over me, “He knows your heart…let it go, be free.”
Here are some verses for you:
“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” - 1 John 1:9
“Cast your burden on the Lord,
And He shall sustain you;
He shall never permit the righteous to be moved.” - Psalm 55:22
“So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” - John 8:36